The January Chronicles

I acknowledge that my posting frequency has been at an all-time-low this month. This, however, does not mean that I have nothing important to say. I have just been so overwhelmed with semester exams and SAT’s that writing was stuffed into the bin of things I wished I could have been doing with my time. But, alas, I shall make up for the lost ground by giving you a month’s worth of posts in one single volume. I call it, THE JANUARY CHRONICLES.

The New Year In New Jersey

I always love celebrating the New Year with my family in New Jersey. Its the one time of year when I get to see my grandfather (mom’s dad) and all of my uncles, aunts, and cousins who live there. Naturally, this trip also includes shopping sprees, Broadway plays, amazing food, and glorious winter weather and snow. I think, the best way for me to sum up the trip would be to elaborate on two of the greatest parts of it.

Caddy The Snowman

One morning, I woke up and looked out my hotel room window. For the first time since we had arrived in New Jersey, fresh snow was falling! Once we had all gotten dressed, we went down to breakfast. Nathalia, Ashleigh, and I hurried to finish our coffee and bagels and then ran outside into the large, hotel parking lot. It was mostly empty and the whole thing was covered in 2 inches of fresh, white snow. I don’t know who came up with he idea, but the next thing I knew, we were piling heaps of snow onto the hood of our rented van. Ashleigh “stole” snow that had fallen on other cars while I constructed large chunky mounds of snow, which I then lifted with both hands and hoisted to Nathalia, who was making sure that our snow man did not collapse.

Half an hour later, we had a 4 foot snowman, sitting quite sturdily on the hood of the van. It looked hilarious, but it was still missing key components. I made my way to a nearby tree and broke off two branches for arms, two small pieces of bark for eyes, small bits of a pine tree for the eyebrows, and finally, a long piece of bark for the mouth. We named the snowman Caddy (I don’t quite remember why) and once my parents and grandmother came out to the car we did the most touristy thing ever. Take pictures with the snowman. After our surprisingly extensive photo shoot, I told my dad to drive forward so that I could film Caddy as he slid off the hood of the van and onto the snowy earth. This worked perfectly, and within seconds Caddy the snowman lay in pieces in front of the van; all that was left was a portion of his buttocks which had remained stuck to the windshield.

New Year’s Eve 2009

New Year’s Eve was, as usual, a really great night. We went over to my Uncle Brian’s and Aunty Johanna’s house in a really beautiful town called Madison. My other uncles and aunts were there too. I spent the whole night bonding with my little cousins, Austin- a 12 year old who Is really cool and loves to play board games with me, Jamie- Austin’s little sister, who is a master at playing drums in Rock Band, Tyler – A brilliant 7 year old who is way better at math than I will ever be, and Juliana- the most adorable little child I have ever seen. My other two cousins, Thomas and Alexa couldn’t make it but I had visited them the day before (they have a gorgeous, old dog and an army of little hamsters). The evening started off by giving Tyler piggy-back rides and pretending that we were in an elevator (He is obsessed with elevators. Its the numbers.) Then I played Rock Band with my sisters, Austin and Jamie. I am dismal at it! So, I gave up and gave my guitar to Tyler. While they belted out Beatles songs I jumped up and down with Juliana until she randomly lay down and fell asleep right there on the mini trampoline. After a really yummy dinner of pasta with tomato sauce and cheese, crab cakes, crackers and amazing cheeses, crunchy green beans, and roast beef, Nathalia, Austin and I slipped away into Austin’s room where we played board games until 11:50 pm. Just before midnight, the whole family gathered in front the TV to watch the infamous ball-drop in New York City. It was funny to think that we were all so close, yet, in our small number in a cozy warm room, I couldn’t have felt further away from the millions of people gathered in the bitterly cold street.

Thomas in a tree.

Alexa with her beloved hamster.

Jamie being independent

Austin playing video games.

Tyler doing…something?

Juliana on the trampoline.

And here for the sake of it, I will now reveal to you a sneak peek of what inside the lobby of The Lion King on Broadway looks like…

100 Things 2.0

1. As I promised Ms. Chesler, I’m writing 100 more things, 1 year later.
2. I’m pretty sure that some of the people reading this will be people I really would rather didn’t.
3. Right now I am watching Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince.
4. The opening scene of said movie disturbs me. A lot. Harry Potter does NOT fling cafe girls.
5. I thought of a lot of things to put on this list, but now I cannot remember them.
6. Robin is anxiously awaiting this post.
7. Looking Up by Paramore is the perfect song to describe my life right now.
8. I don’t like to hear Coldplay songs on the radio.
9. I thought Avatar was pretty amazing.
10. I wonder what many people in my grade say about me when I’m not around. I think I’d have a really good, hard, long laugh if I happened to find out.
11. I am always worrying about something.
12. I still have absolutely no clue what I want to major in in University.
13. I want to go to a University in the woods with lovely winter weather so that I can pretend I am at Hogwarts.
14. I used to think that I was way better at science than I was at math; now its the opposite.
15. I honestly don’t HATE Spanish class.
16. My 16th birthday really wasn’t a big deal.
17. I think that if I majored in History an had to choose a time period to study it would either be Medieval Europe, Ancient Egypt, or post-Classical American civilizations (Incas and Aztecs).
18. The most valuable thing I learned in AP Physics was how to handle failure.
19. My room is very indicative of who I am.
20. I enjoy listening to soundtracks from movies that I love.
21. I have tried writing 4 books over the last 2 years. They all flopped.
22. I think that referring to God as a male or as “the Father” is kind of stupid because it contradicts the whole idea of having one all-powerful being. Unless of course we’re suggesting that men are all-powerful and more perfect than women (which of course is ridiculous).
23. According to the Bible, God created day and night, and plants before creating the Sun. How does that work?
24. I have a dream catcher hanging on my lamp next to my bed. Since I got it I don’t think I have had any nightmares.
25. It may just be a Disney movie, but The Lion King is one of the greatest movies I have ever seen.
26. Raw meat is really delicious.
27. I feel guilty about having bought photo albums in Costa Rica and in Alaska and never using them.
28. Nothing could ever turn me away from liking Harry Potter.
29. This summer, I want to go away and take an art course and meet new people, spend a week with my New Jersey family, visit Tyler and Robin, and maybe even it in another “Core” trip.
30. I don’t see Adam nearly as much as I would like to.
31. I got the part of Reverend Shaw in Footloose. “Heaven Help Me!”
32. How is it that some people hate America but love Canada?
33. Would you like to see my cannibalistic rat impression?
34. The shower is the best place for thinking.
35. The first time I ever heard Life In Technicolour ii by Coldplay was in a little handmade crafts shop in Orvietto Italy.
36. I’m surprised Ms. Thomas hasn’t killed me yet.
37. The SAT is the worst exam in the world!
38. I am currently reading the complete Grimms’ Fairy Tales. I am in love with it.
39. I bought The Odyssey but I don’t think I will ever be able to read it and understand it.
40. I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if there are people who reading this who I wouldn’t want to be reading it.
41. Thus far, my new year’s “resolutions” have ben utter flops.
42. After I graduate from High School, I am going to go through all of my online contacts and “friends” and have a massive deleting session.
43. I used to have a “going to the bathroom” system in AP Physics. Morning classes: don’t go unless we’re doing a lab. Afternoon classes: Go between 1:40 and 2:00 for 5 minutes.
44. I never feel like going to History class, but once I get there I’m fine.
45. It is really annoying to stand in line in a coffee shop, behind two indecisive women who are bursting their brains trying to decide whether to have the marble cake or the banana cake.
46. I think eReaders are pretty cool and environmentally brilliant; but at the same time I am very skeptical and hesitant. I like to turn my pages and get the occasional doggy-ear.
47. If you ask me “who I like” I will always say, “nobody”. So don’t ask.
48. The concept behind Thermal Heat Death really scares me.
49. My cell phone just started working again after being dead since it went in the washing machine back in November.
50. The scariest way do die would be by sinking in deep water, either tied to a heavy weight or trapped in a cage.
51. I don’t think I’ll ever want to go Scuba Diving.
52. Everything is connected in the great Circle of Life.
53. The rate at which I buy books is greater than the rate at which I read them.
54. This is sad seeing as I only buy books once or twice a year.
55. Right now, I think I will only want to have one child or identical twins. Don’t hold me to this if/when I actually get married.
56. I started writing these 100 things on January 10th and I am still not close to being finished.
57. I find it comforting to know that in the event of an emergency I know how to take care of myself pretty well.
58. Have you ever had something, then given it away, and then later on you realize how much you wish you hadn’t given it away and you want it back so badly but you can’t?
59. I hate debates about using British or American spelling. They’re both acceptable and both are better than internet/text lingo.
60. It is getting late and I am rather tired so I will continue this tomorrow.
61. My next attempt at writing a book will be to take one of my short stories and expend it significantly.
62. Deception is more evil than is violence.
63. I am really proud of my History exam grade. 95!
64. Im am a really slow reader.
65. I have never witnessed autumn.
66. I really don’t know what else there is to say…
67. This will be the longest post I have written in a year and a half of blogging.
68. I hate contour drawings.
69. I have a book called 1000 Places To See Before You Die. Every time I look at it, it reminds me that I have a lot of work to do!
70. I really hate my hair.
71. I wish I lived in a world that still believed in superstition and mythology.
72. I honestly want someone to try to hypnotize me.
73. One day, Tyler and I have to go to Peru. We just have to.
74. Blowing up pizza boxes is a lot of fun.
75. Going to a Coldplay concert is one of my greatest desires.
76. Other than dogs,I would like to get a pig, golden lion tamarin, walrus, and a giant tortoise as pets.
77. Horses are very funny-looking when you think about it.
78. I laugh when I hear about people who freak out because the spots on their cows look like religious symbols, pop icons, or doomsday warnings.
79. I really hope that there’s something wonderful and magical waiting after death.
80. Politics is a war of words.
81. I sigh in shame when I look at the last few chapters of a history textbook and see words like Nike, Disney, and McDonald’s staring back at me.
82. It would be insane if animals revolted against humans.
83. Are humans part of nature?
84. I will never understand why Americans and Canadians pronounce “t” within a word as “d”.
85. I think I could handle living in seclusion in a log cabin for a few months as long as I have writing and art tools.
86. I do not like birds at all.
87. I get annoyed when people talk so much that they don’t even have time to think through what they’re about to say.
88. I also get annoyed when people use sayings or say, “They say…” (who the hell is they?)
89. I love to play games in which I can build my own empire and manage it.
90. My Xbox 360 and Wii are becoming way too neglected.
91. Lob cabins are the most comfortable and beautiful houses.
92. I still get chocolates from the Easter Bunny and Santa presents.
93. The year I was born.
94. Robin should be very pleases with me right about now.
95. I love stapling and hole-punching papers.
96. The ability to fly would make me unbelievably happy.
97. Why do some plants have thorns?
98. I wonder if I have repeated any of the points from my last 100 Things post?
99. Bottles of beer on the wall. (and I don’t plan on drinking any of them for a long time)
100. …Well this was fun…

Back To School: Change Has Come!

My return to school wasn’t a total bummer. In fact, I was very happy, as my parents and principal finally agreed to let me drop AP Physics. All I had to do was keep going until midterm exams and not fail. I’m pleased to annouce that I got a C on the exam and ended up with a B- overall. I passed! So now that the biggest chunk of evil is gone from my school life I will be filling my formerly-Physics time with art, and with an online AP Economics course. So far, both have been smooth sailing. I have, in just one one week, finished one of the six units of my Economics course. If I keep up the pace I should be finished before Easter Break. Then, I will have a free period!

Semester exams were pretty stressful, especially considering that my Pre Calculus exam was a week earlier than it should have been (let’s not even go down that road) and I felt a personal need to finally not get an A on history. I wouldn’t usually fuss too much about the letter grade, but history is “my baby” and I need, for my personal satisfaction, to have that baby thoroughly nourished. I ended up getting 95%  (a massive relief and cause of internal celebration). I was a bit disappointed at getting a B in English, seeing as I would have gotten an A if I hadn’t put the wrong multiple choice answers in the wrong circles. I ended up with an A- in the class, so believe me, I’m over it. Spanish was just…Spanish. I have no emotional response towards it whatsoever. And AP Psychology was yet another success. I find it relieving to know that I’m doing particularly well in my AP courses. It takes away a bit of the nervousness and paranoia.

Alas, there must always be some flaw in the plan. It turns out that my History and Economics AP exams are scheduled for the same exact day at the same exact time. On the plus side, it means I will have to take the late test for one of them and therefore get an extra week to study. On the negative side, this means one less week of post-AP freedom. Still, I am not going to complain. Physics is gone. Forever!

In Noctem

This evening, as my dad picked me up from art lessons, I sat in the van and did nothing unusual. I just looked out the window. This action wasn’t uncommon in any way, but the beautiful 7:00 pm night was. I could not remember having seen a night sky so beautiful in a really long time. I though of the starry nights in the Dominican Republic and the Italian countryside, of the dramatic lightning storms of Matura beach, and of the black-ink skies in Alaska. None of them were quite as as breathtaking and thought-provoking as this one was. Who would expect the most exotic night sky to be right here, in Port of Spain, Trinidad? Usually these sorts of nocturnal beauties are reserved for far away lands such as Greece, or Arabia, where there is more adventure to be had. I didn’t let such common  misconceptions stop me from having my own little adventure.

It was a full moon. The sky was black, and was heavily overcast, yet small gaps between the clouds revealed patches of glimmering stars that were calling my name. I looked up through the open window and thought abut the universe, and felt as though I understood the unknown vastness of the universe, if only for a millisecond. The moon had just risen over the hills and I was peeved at the fact that I did not have a camera with me.

So, I got one.

I got home, ran into the house, grabbed my dad’s camera, and together, he and I spent the next hour driving around the neighborhood, up and down hills, closer and further from the moon, and in jumping in and out of the van to take pictures. I had a of of fun, and was very impressed with my moon photography. Incidentally, I have the perfect song to accompany my night-time photographs. In Noctem by Nicholas Hooper (Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince movie soundtrack). Don’t worry, the Latin is also restated in English in the song…

~IN NOCTEM~

Carry my soul into the night
May the stars guide my way.
I glory in the sight
As darkness takes the day.

Ferte in noctem animam meam
Illustre stelle viam meam.
Aspectu illo glorior
Dum capit nox diem.

Cantate vitae canticum
Sine dolore acte
Dicite eis quos amabam
Numquam obliviscar

Sing a song, a song of life
Made without regret
Tell the ones, the ones I loved
I never will forget
Never will forget.

Decade Swap

Happy New Year!

I’m back! I will be writing all about my just-concluded New Jersey/New York trip in the very near future, but for now I just want to make some lists of things that made 2009 the “interesting” year that it was, and some things, hopes, desires – resolutions if you will-  that I have for 2010. Without further ado I give you…

2009 Year In Review

• The year started off in New Jersey, with my beloved family members. It was the ideal beginning.
• End of semester exams were followed by celebrations of “epic” proportions with “the core”.
• February and March rolled in and Robin and I just whined about how boring and school-filled life was.
• April 2nd was one of the best days of my life. I said goodbye to all my friends at school and next thing I knew, I was on a flight to London. My very first trip to Europe was about to begin!
• I had the time of my life in London and got really interested in learning the history of the British monarchy.
• Italy was the most beautiful experience ever. I really went all out with photography and felt an artistic Renaissance emerging in my soul.
• We welcomed our new puppy Cosmo into the family.
• My return to school was soon followed by my AP Human Geography Exam. I must say, I went into that exam well-prepared and very confident.
• Fools. My first ever experience as a cast member in a drama production. Our group was amazing beyond belief, we all bonded through it, and I discovered a whole new side of myself. Not to mention the part of an evil, creepy, Russian count in a coat and top hat, with a mustache, fit me perfectly.
• I got the worst haircut (buzz cut) ever!
• “We went to Prom!” (Jamie and Mai will get that one). Okay, so it wasn’t as good as Prom ‘08; and it made me miss Tyler and Lanora like mad, but getting suited up is always fun. Plus, we took pretty pictures.
• Jamie and I met the marvelous breadfish. ‘Nuff said…
• “The core” spent countless hours sprawled on Jamie’s living room rug with chips, salsa, and cookies. We studied like there was no tomorrow for finals and kept each other going no matter what. Couldn’t have done it without you guys.
• Tyler arrived in Trinidad for two weeks of catching up, and living the good life. Just like the good old days.
• Saying goodbye to Ms. Chesler broke me down. It was like saying goodbye to a great mentor.
• The Toronto trip with “the Core” was one of the best trips of my life. Those nights at the lake will forever be dear to me. As will every other event, from Shakespeare, to hobos, to Warped Tour, to Queen Street, even to the airport.
• I think it safe to call summer 2009 my “Harry Potter Summer”. I had the best time just chilling out, reading all 7 books, going to the premiere of the 6th movie, and even doing Harry Potter fan art.
• I went to the place where I was supposedly conceived. Casa de Campo, Dominican Republic. It wasn’t nearly as exotic as Italy or London, but I bonded really well with my family and even learned how to drive!
• 11th grade began and I suffered through pure misery. Moving on…
• My 16th birthday wasn’t extravagant, but I had a memorable time with Jamie and Mai, eating Chinese food and ice cream. I also got the best gift ever. Macbook Pro!
• Halloween was amazing. My costume was truly epic, and I am going to have a hard time topping it this year.
• I rediscovered my childhood love for Disney animated movies in particular The Lion King. Listening to the songs and watching the movies for the first time in years pretty much kept me alive and sane through the plague of school that was driving me to depression.
• I didn’t really get any nice presents for Christmas, but I still had one of the best Christmasses that I have had in years. Everyone was happy and for once nobody was dying or leaving me.
• The year ended in full circle with my family in NewJersey.

The Best Of 2009

• Song: Life in Technicolour ii – Coldplay
• Album: The Fray – The Fray
• Movie: Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince OR Angels & Demons
• Trip: London & Italy
• Month: July
• Book: Harry Potter series
• Learning Experience: Fools
• Memorable Moment: The Lake in Toronto
• Accomplishment: My Artwork

For 2010

• I seriously need to cut down on my eating and improve my exercise. I have put on way too much weight and its making me feel like a lump.
• I didn’t meet my goal of reading 26 books last year. This year I hope to make it happen.
• I’m going to try to be a bit more patient. Particularly in reference to the year and a half before I leave Trinidad.
• Move a few steps closer to deciding what i would like to do with my life from university onwards.
• I’m not going to let ridiculous things like Physics get the better of me. Even if I can’t get the better of it, I’m not going to let it bring down my morale. What will be will be.
• I have to, have to, have to see Tyler and Robin. I have been in need of a Robin hug for far too long.
• I need to come up with an even better Halloween costume!

My Christmas Carol

I am pleased to announce that since I last wrote, I have experienced a significant increase in Christmas spirit. I no longer believe that I am in a position to be crowned Scrooge 2.0. My uplifting began just minutes after I wrote about the depressing state of my Christmas soul. It’s amazing how sometimes, just a simple online chat with Robin can lift my spirits and get me to feel festive. It’s ironic that I felt Christmassy just by discussing how much I miss childhood Christmases, with Robin. Perhaps my Christmas spirit was fostered in by my being situated under the lit Christmas tree in the wee hours of the morning.

The very next day my Christmas joy escalated further, as Jamie and I went to see Disney’s A Christmas Carol. Of course, we both knew the story of old Scrooge, Tiny Tim, and the Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present, and Future; but seeing them in a beautifully animated film with a comforting soundtrack, positive message, and gorgeous Victorian/Winter settings really made me get a warm, fuzzy feeling inside. Our movie experience was followed up with a delicious, hefty Chinese dinner which I thoroughly enjoyed with Jamie and her lovely parents. It was kind of like reliving the last day of our Toronto summer trip all over again.

In my last post, I mentioned that Christmas time always seems “dark” to me, but in a comforting way. I am pleased to say that I have found this comforting darkness by sitting in my room at late hours of the night with the light off, and only my desk lamp, fiberoptic Christmas tree, and laptop casting dim light in one corner of the room. I suppose that the unfortunate trade off for this was that this year I did not spend many of my evenings tucked away beside my Christmas tree at ridiculous hours of the night. I also have been slack at posting here, reading, hanging out with Adam and Jamie (I have seen each of them only once for the holiday), and I have even put off my homework so much that I still have to do my English today, Christmas Eve. I have not been a complete lazy bum though. I did manage to read one book and get my history homework done in great detail and organization. Furthermore, the prized accomplishments of this Christmas vacation have been artistic. I spent over 24 hours, over a stretch of 5 days, doing a drawing with colour pencils of Aladdin and Jasmine on a magic carpet, soaring through the sky (as seen in the song, A Whole New World). I think that it came out pretty darn awesome and is probably the most detailed artwork that I have ever done. I think that it was also a major breakthrough for my people-drawing skills. I’m Very pleased with how much I have improved on facial features (eyes, nose, mouth) and on hands. Ms. Chesler should also be pleased to know that I also took a mini photo shoot  of ornaments, and now have few Christmas photography shots.

I will be leaving for New Jersey/New York on Christmas night (technically early Boxing Day) and while I will be carrying my laptop with me, I cannot promise that I will have any internet connection. In the likely event that I don’t post before I leave, I’d just like to wish you all a very Merry Christmas and a wonderfully Happy New Year. If you celebrate any other holidays, I also wish to extend my good wishes. I will be back in 2010!

Change Of Season

I have noticed that this year, my Christmas holidays are playing out to be different in nature to how they were last year and the year before, and I don’t know if that’s a good thing or not. Since 9th grade (Christmas 2007) I have found Christmas time to be a time that is somewhat “dark”. Not only does the sun set about an hour earlier, but each year, I also faced losing someone important. In 2007 Tyler left and my dog, Spike, was stolen; then last year Lanora left and my grandfather was very sick. Maybe this “darkness” also stems from a bit of loneliness and seclusion, as my parents both have to work long hours into the evening, and there just always seem to be less opportunities to meet up with friends. I have also grown accustomed to having to try to bond and get along with cousins who I really don’t relate to. Yet, I have always enjoyed Christmas holidays because of the search for spirit, baked Christmas cakes and cookies, movie traditions, a quiet house, the beautiful tree, and of course the absence of school.

This year is strangely different though. I feel pretty numb to the whole season honestly. I walk past the tree everyday without paying much attention, our oven is broken so my plan to bake Christmas cookies has gone down the drain, there is no cousins’ play happening on Christmas Eve (I am thankful for this), and nobody appears to be leaving me (again, I am thankful for this). So, I really don’t know what emotions I am supposed to be feeling right now. Every time I try to think of Christmas I can only think of ho much I used to want to peek at presents, how scared I was of Santa, how I used to want to die of anxiety in the days leading up to Christmas. Now I feel nothing, and it really bothers me. I haven’t asked for any gifts from anyone, I haven’t listened to a single carol, I haven’t let my imagination run wild while observing our Christmas ornaments, it once again pains me to know that Santa isn’t coming, and our old Creche that has been in the house since I was born is dry-rotting and falling apart. So, believe it or not, I am actually not thinking of Christmas itself as much as I would like to or maybe should be.

On the plus side I am entertaining myself and finding happiness in other things, such as art, music, writing, reading, and movies. I’m happy with all of this, but still I am missing the Christmas I used to know back when I only had one digit in my name. Did I miss some kind of important transition in how to celebrate Christmas? Am I becoming a Scrooge? I hear about people my age going off to Christmas parties (which are actually not very Christmasy at all) and gathering to do shopping together. Is that what a teenager needs to do to feel the spirit?

I think I need a visit from the 3 ghosts of Christmas. What say you?

Only Good News!

The term is finally over and the long-awaited, and much-needed Christmas holidays have begun. I had considered writing an update over the past few days, but I decided to stay true to my word and make my next post a positive one. So, here it is!

Big news! As of January, my little sister, Ashleigh will be attending ISPS. The decision was sort of abrupt, but seeing as things weren’t working out with her teacher at her old school, and my parents were going to move her at the end of the school year anyway, they decided that 6 months earlier wouldn’t be a bad idea. Ashleigh is very excited and will either be in 4th or 5th grade. It depends on how she does on a test. Her uniforms have been bought already, and she hasn’t stopped asking questions in days. She thinks that she is in for the greatest experience on earth; and who am I to change her perceptions?

I should have no need to touch my calculator over the next 3 weeks. That in itself is a glorious reality, as it means no Physics or Pre Calculus for the rest of the year! I do have holiday homework for History, English, and Spanish, but I think I can handle that by the end of this weekend. When I go back to school in January (Nasty times…) my Physics teacher, Mr. Tummala will be back. That means no more of Mr. Horsfall’s lectures that not only confuse me, but bore me to death/ insanity (whichever comes first).

Today, the last day of the school term was rather enjoyable, except for the fact that I had a history quiz. But what can you do? Something’s got to give, right? From crosswords in English to playing around with Santa hats in Pre Calculus, there was only joy and carelessness being spread. The highlight of my day was in Spanish class, where we sang Christmas songs in Spanish. I had my camera with me and filmed Spider, my classmates, and I singing. This was somewhat difficult, as Spider kept moving around. THen, during the second verse of Silent Night, she walked over to a boy named Prithvi and told him to come and make Jamie and I put own the camera. I don’t know why she couldn’t tell us herself. I hope she doesn’t hate me now, because to have her crawling on my skin would be truly dismal. I was so disappointed though that I could not film SPider singing Feliz Navidad (her favorite song in the whole world). Who knew that she had such smooth moves? During the “From the bottom of my heart!” she even opened her arms and pitched her voice an octave higher. I was horrified, yet I was going insane with laughter throughout the entire class period. I can’t believe she caught us…

For the next two weeks I plan to entertain myself with writing, reading, doing art, hanging out with friends, and working out with Adam (because we feel inspired). Then o Christmas night I’m off to New York for a week to do some serious shopping, and to bring in the New Year with my grandfather and cousins who live in New Jersey. I’m not expecting any elaborate or abundant presents under the tree, since my birthday present was so lovely, but I will certainly be stocking up on movies, music, books, and games when I go to New York. I cannot wait! I love the winter weather, my Jersey family, the top-notch food (ranging from Chinese, to Arabic, to Indian, to Italian), and the infinite shopping. I will also be seeing The Lion King and Wicked on Broadway. I have seen The Lion King once before but this time it really will be special, since I am going through a Renaissance of my childhood, and the music now holds sentimental value for my friends and I.

I have a lot to celebrate, a lot to do, a lot to enjoy; and only 3 weeks to do it. I better get cracking!

Spiraling Downwards

It is common knowledge that if a machine such as a computer, fridge or even a lightbulb is left running and expelling energy for too long a period of time, it will eventually start to experience technical problems and possibly even failure. This process has proven itself to be true in human beings and in school. This term has been going since the last week of August and we still have a week and a half to go. The temperate zones of the world have seen summer fade to fall and fall fade to winter, and during this time  we students have been going through the unchanging routine of school life. We have not had any time to breathe, recharge, or get adequate sleep for over 3 months and the effects are starting to show. In the earlier part of the term (September/October) I was able to cope with challenges and work loads, then as November rolled in my exhaustion began to catch up with me. I struggled to pay attention in classes and even fell asleep here and there. What little understanding of Physics I had was now replaced by total cluelessness and I know longer had the energy to make the effort. Making history notes, studying for Pre-Calculus, and getting ahead in reading for English all fell from priority and were replaced by procrastination, naps, and simply staring into blank space. Now we have entered December and alas I am at home, sick. I have a throbbing headache, upset stomach, and no matter where I go I feel extremely cold. Yet I must spend my day studying for 2 history tests, a Pre Calculus test, and cringing at the thought of having to take the SAT this Saturday. With all of these unpleasant experiences awaiting me It seems hard to imagine that in just over a week I will be free to curl up under my Christmas tree with some good music, my laptop, a snack, and not  care in the world.

I am not the only one suffering the effects of this long exhausting term. People have been getting sick throughout the school. Mr. Kaster was absent on Monday, and a girl fainted just yesterday. Even Spider was been sneezing and snorting in unmannerly ways. As if my school troubles weren’t enough, my Physics teacher is going to be absent until after Christmas because he had to go back to the US because his mother is very ill. What hopes I ever had at doing well at all in that class are slipping away at exponential rates. So, I really don’t know what to do at this point other than try to weasel my way through the next week and a half. Hopefully the next time you hear from me I will have a happier tale to tell!

Near The Threshold

On Sunday night I literally got the shock of my life! This year for the first time in years, we have put up Christmas lights on some bushes outside of our front door. Every night I have to plug in the lights around 6pm, and then unplug them before I go to bed. I don’t mind doing it, seeing as I was the one who decided to put up the lights in the first place (plus I am also exempted from all dog-feeding duties for the rest of the year!). As I was saying, on Sunday, at midnight I went outside to unplug the lights as usual. I approached the bushes and jumped back a bit when I saw a little frog hop away. Frogs have always been a fear of mine. After recovering from this minor astonishment I fumbled around in the bush until I found the connection between the light strand and the extension cord. I had not thought to unplug the extension cord from the wall socket first, so as I pulled the cords apart, the head of the extension cord subsequently broke off an left my finger totally exposed to the wire endings. Instantaneously, a surge of current flowed up my right arm. I lost all control of my arm and felt my heart rate escalate to probably 20 times its normal rate. I let go of the crd as soon as my brain had processed what was happening, and for about 10 minutes just stood there, on the spot, not knowing what to do. My heart was still pacing at a rate and I was trying desperately to calm myself down before cardiac arrest set in, stopping my heart and ending my 16 year life. Another side of me was just trying to process so many thoughts at once. Things like “HOLY SHIT!!! I COULD HAVE DIED!!!” and “OH MY GOD I AM SO LUCKY!!!” were flying through my mind. I wanted to scream and cry of both fear and gratitude, but I was far too stunned to even breathe properly. I could only keep thinking about what would have happened if one of my parents or sisters had found my dead body on the ground outside, and about all the things in life I would have never have done if I had died right there on the spot. I did eventually calm down though. I unplugged the remaining lights and walked inside with the broken extension cord. I showed it to my parents and then briefly mentioned my ordeal as though it was no big deal, before heading off to bed. As I lay in my bed I still hadn’t accepted the fact that I was alive and well; I was convinced that my heart would fail while I was asleep. But that’s just how I am: paranoid.

Since the electric shock of Sunday night I have been feeling imaginary twitches and pains in my heart, finger, arm, neck, and shoulder. I know I am making them up, but it just goes to show how paranoid I am. While electrocuting myself is definitely something I plan to do intentionally at any point in time, I have noticed that since the incident I have been far more alert and active. Over the last few week s I have been sleeping very little (about 5 hours a night) and as a result I have been feeling drowsy in some of my classes. I even fell asleep in AP Psychology last week. Since my shock, I have not felt drowsy at all; even at midnight on school nights when I really should be asleep . If this electric jump-start can just get me past tomorrow then I will be free for 4 days to sleep and enjoy life watching Disney movies with Mai and Jamie and at my cousin’s concert on Saturday in which my little sister is singing, and of course educing my sleep deficit. If I do rejuvenate myself this weekend then I should be able to get through the last 2 weeks of school before the long-awaited Christmas holidays which I am very excited for. I have a feeling that Christmas is going to be really awesome this year. I don’t know why, but I like this feeling. I actually think it may be the best Christmas since I was told the horrible truth about Santa. I am still upset about the fact that I will never experience my fear of Santa again. Christmas just isn’t the same anymore. I suppose in a way I still do believe in Santa though. I believe in what Santa represents in a 21st century world so occupied with science and hard facts that room for suspicion and mystery is shrinking. I think its important that something out there is “supernatural”. Whether its some form of God, aliens, Santa, or even the Lochness Monster I think that its a reassuring and comforting thought that something out there can undermine human “facts” and maintain ambiguity in the universe. I am a big fan of supernatural beings because I believe that they are all true in some form or another, and they are brilliant manifestations and stimulants of the imagination, creativity and dreams. If religious scriptures and institutions are sometimes inaccurate or corrupt, why should those things impact on personal interpretations of religion? If extraterrestrial life cannot be proven just yet why discredit the possibility and limit our understanding of the universe? If Santa was just a charitable man named St. Nicholas who died hundreds of years ago and not a fat man who flies around on Christmas Eve, why not believe in the goodness, charity and joy that he represents? If The Lochness monster is dead, just some kind of giant fish, just a giant rock, or just a hoax, why not keep the tradition alive and look out at the loch and try to spot Nessie just for fun anyway?

The point I am trying to make is, that whether  we believe in something or not isn’t important. The important thing is understanding. Understanding that “supernatural” elements have all arisen from some degree of truth and that more relevant than the “supernatural” being itself, is the deeper, implicit message that comes along with it. In the case of Christmas we can look at both Jesus and Santa as symbols of positive energy. The birth of Jesus is meant to signify peace on Earth, and Santa is supposed to be symbolic of the magical joy that charity and sharing gives. Whether or not we believe in these individuals is immaterial. What I believe in most is that if we all acknowledge the messages and symbolic meanings of Christmas, then there is hope that solutions to both our own, and the world’s problems can be found. Maybe when we truly take in the deep emotional, personal, universal, and spiritual significance of Christmas, then when me come close to meeting death when we least expect it, then there will be no need to look back and think of all the things left incomplete and unreconciled.

Just a thought…

The Routine Of Life VS. The Circle Of Life

Most of live our lives following some sort of routine. I certainly do. Anyone who has a job or goes to school does. Some people like their lives to b laid out and structured and others like to shake things up a bit and break the routine. This weekend I have managed to break my routine and just enjoy life. I’ve still been doing work and studying for my massive history test on Monday, but at the same time I have been managing to enjoy my life while doing what must be done. Yesterday I came home, wrote a post, ate some cereal, then I decided that I would ditch art lessons this weekend just so that I could chill out a bit. Instead of going to art, I put up my Christmas tree. In my family, the tree always goes up in mid-November because my parents (being the owners of a toy business) are extremely busy at Christmas time. The tree goes up in 3 stages. The first stage I do on my own voluntarily, and it is by far the most tiring and tedious. Every year I blast some music and separate all the branches of the tree and about 3 hours later the tree will be assembled. Next, my parents and I string the lights around the tree. This process takes no more than half an hour. Finally my sisters come and my dad blasts Christmas carols while we drop and break put up the decorations. By the time the angel has been placed on the top of the tree, 5 hours have passed since I started. It may be tedious, but I love doing this job.

Once the tree was up, my parents sat with a glass of wine and my sisters ran inside while I stayed and just lay around. My dad ran out of Christmas songs eventually, so he just let his music play randomly. Soon after, Circle Of Life from The Lion King played and I was sent plunging into blissful memories of my childhood. Since then I have been listening to my favorite Disney songs from The Lion King, Tarzan, Brother Bear, and Pocahuntus. This has been a change in and of in itself from the more mature Coldplay, The Fray, and Paramore that I have been routinely listening to for months on end. As much as I love those bands I have noticed that this music from my childhood makes me so much more happy. I have literally been smiling for the last 24 hours!

I am so very relaxed right ow that you would never guess that I have spent the better part of the last 11 hours writing up 26 pages of history notes. It sounds crazy, but I accomplished it! I’m confident that my mood and motivation had a lot to do with it. Today has been a change from my usual Saturday procrastination epidemic, and I think I am happier than I have been since summer. I feel more at peace with the world and I am going to do my best to keep my mind this way!

From the day we arrive on the planet

And blinking, step into the sun

There’s more to see than can ever be seen

More to do than can ever be done

There’s far too much to take in here

More to find than can ever be found

But the sun rolling high Through the sapphire sky

Keeps great and small on the endless round

It’s the Circle of Life

And it moves us all

Through despair and hope

Through faith and love

Till we find our place

On the path unwinding

In the Circle

The Circle of Life

It’s the Circle of Life

And it moves us all

Through despair and hope

Through faith and love

Till we find our place

On the path unwinding

In the Circle

The Circle of Life

The other songs that I am going nuts over are:

• I Just Can’t Wait To be King (The Lion King)
• Can You Feel The Love Tonight? (The Lion King)
• Colours Of The Wind (Pocahuntus)
• You’ll Be In My Heart (Tarzan)
• Two Worlds (Tarzan)
• Take A Look Through My Eyes (Brother Bear)

Imagine Hypocrisy

For those readers who have been following along over time, you may know about my pet peeves when it comes to my cousin Andrew. Growing up we were best friends and did EVERYTHING together. Yet, as people grow up they change. You notice things that you didn’t before. Andrew is the classic example of this scenario in my life. Ever since he cheated me in a game of Monopoly, and locked me out of the “kids’ room” on Christmas eve at the age of eleven I’ve never really considered him too much of a friend. Most people would love hi I guess: he’s extremely smart, sociable, talented, plays the piano, and does about a million other things that would make him seem to appear to be the ideal student, son, cousin, friend, etc. But I know better. The way I see it he’s arrogant, pushes in order to get his own way, and uses people for his own personal gain. He’s never been told “no” and is so used to having his own way that if things don’t go according to plan, expect trouble.

Andrew’s latest endeavor in his strive to wards absolute excellence is the hosting of his very own concert, Imagine. (cue “ooh’s” and “ahh’s”). It has become an annual November event for him, and since it started last year, has evolved into something totally “Andrew.” Therefore, I’m not a #1 fan. My sister, Ashleigh is singing in it though. She sang last year and this year she is going to be sining Believe by Josh Groban: a beautiful Christmas song; yet not a song that a 9 year old girl is necessarily meant to sing. Who chose this song? Andrew’s right-hand-man, a good-for-nothing swine by the name of Jean-Marc Tardieu. My sister wanted to sing The Climb by Miley Cyrus, which despite my hatred for Miley I find to be a good song.The poor child’s simple request was rejected due to the song being “inappropriate”. Yet guess what, Jean-Marc, who was the one to dismiss the idea and label it “inappropriate” in the first place had his own concert last weekend, in which he sang, you guessed it, THE CLIMB! Hypocrite? I think so! Meanwhile, my poor little sister has been left to struggle singing a song meant for a male soprano! I’m sure that with the help of my dad and her singing instructor she will be able to pull trough and perform beautifully, but her situation is still extremely unfair.

Andrew has been nagging about his glorious Imagine since September. Every Wednesday at lunch during National Honor Society meetings he has constantly been taking the reins from Shari (NHS president) and yapping on and on and on about Imagine and what he wants each of us to do.

Put a sock in it. Seriously.

Some people need to learn when to stop sometimes. There’s a point in everything when you cross the line and begin to overdo it. That’s what Andrew does with his life. I suppose that you could attribute that to many of his wondrous successes and achievements, but I’ll never resort to that. People like Andrew may go far in life; they may get into a top school, have an amazing job and make millions of dollars, and maybe even change the world, but I know that I would rather spend my life being able to respect myself and have people respect me rather than reaching the top by standing on the heads of others and sticking my nose up.

If ever I was hosting my own show or concert I would make it an event full of family and friends. Make it enjoyable and personal. Andrew on the other hand has people in Imagine who he doesn’t even know. I believe that he met his drummer for the first time earlier this week, and he has trumpet players from the police band. The way I see it, that is inappropriate. I shudder when I think that Andrew’s Imagine concert, which last year was the work of students in order to donate money to orphans has evolved this year into a commercialized event that will be generating funds so that Jean-Marc can go abroad to pursue his musical career.

In my view, Imagine this year is a perfect symbolism of Andrew as a person:

• Buy your way to the top and use prestiege and propaganda in order to impress.
• Use people to your advantage without any regard for their input and own desires.
• Have a trusty side-kick who is just as conceited as you are.
• Puy yourself at the center of attention, because its where you deserve to be.

Count me out!